A room of one’s own…
Virginia Woolf wrote that.
Why does this post have over 100 views, but “marma used for murder” the post I wrote three years ago have 23?
What kind of psychopathic architect would ever be so blatant, and illusionary and subtle at the same time, as to put two berries (2degrees) on their building (our home). Is that their communicating with us that we’re being murdered? Do you think maybe you should drop the subtle references, and call the fucking cops?
My grandpa died, but I wasn’t allowed to go to the funeral, I went to the waterslides with Joanna, Jennifer and Jaime (male) Masraff, I was conveniently invited by their mum. I was too young, to say goodbye? He gave me a red fishing rod, once. Alice Buckee/ O’flarety, (Jim her dad has Parkinson’s I told them about plastic). Alice dropped it in the lake when she visited on my 21st Birthday. I write her but stopped she never wrote me back. I cherished that thing. They had three really big waterslides, two bumpy ones, and one straight down. I went on the bumpy one once, it felt like I was lifting off, never again. I never did the straight down one. Is rhythym accounted for in waterslides building? (I think that’s another story). I was 9, he died in ‘91. I was born in Mexico City, my mom was a bit scared to have a baby there. My dad was working. My psychiatrist dr. Soni, was born in the ABC hospital too, we have the same light bulb and get along well, except he’s puppet to kill me and has all the power. Rabbit had Haitian electricity in Euleuthera because Joseph and Charlie did it, they couldn’t work under American power, maybe? I also got a vaccine down there to go to the uk, but my hair went blonde in a line in Woking. I got fried. Joseph and Charlie would send all their money back to Haiti, and never spend it on themselves.
My grandpa Rabbit, died, and I went to the waterslides, it was that summer or another one, my cousins (Alex and Colin) and brother (Pat) moved downstairs. I got the room to myself. The furniture was sage green. It had like a boudoir and curly steel beds. My Uncle Pete painted them for my granny Poppy, for me, or she told me that. It had Japanese prints from Dorothy French, Poppies cousin, I always wanted to be Japanese, Kris Kurasu, friend of my dad, had given me a Japanese paper doll when I was little too. There was stuff in the back of the prints, a class photo, the framer found them, my aunt Judy told me to go to him.
Mary Webster left me her pearls, I think the clasp is different, everyone always noticed the clasp. I’m not sure, they got electrocuted, so did I, and the string disintegrated, but the pearls are still fine. I thought they where double string, but sometimes they are, sometimes they’re not. I never knew why, I didn’t know them well, I wrote a really nice letter, it felt weird. Bill says, “what is falling and catching yourself every time? Walking” or something like that, he was the only one that ever left a comment on that website, it was like 2006, it meant the world to me. My mum told me I didn’t need to write him back. We would look at the constellations in Euleuthera. I pointed them out once, he was upset a bit, but then we had a laugh. Bill Webster. Tina Frost, of Fred, and Tina Frost (early investor in apple) invited us to dinner the same spring holiday I met Mary and Bills daughters. She had wrapped the napkins in rosemary. Iwas on her left I think, should someone else have been, I wore my blue grade 9 graduation dress, I think I was still in high school, because I wore my brown wax dyed dress to meet Bill and Marys daughter at Mary’s party poppy held. Tina died too. I don’t know what rosemary means. I wasn’t allowed to notice anything at that party. Someone pointed the napkins out for me. It was probably 97/or 98. Tina was crying the whole time, Mary had died, but we had a nice time talking. Mom was on my right I think, and then Poppy. I think there were about, 4 or 5 tables. I asked Tina how she did the rosemary, the whole table laughed and sarcastically said she did it herself. Tina used to garden a lot in Euleuthera, her and my mom would talk about it, mom was afraid to garden in Euleuthera, she’s terrified of snakes. She has a beautiful garden here.
We used to go to Windermere island for lunch sometimes, but then the club closed. Or they didn’t like the way I flowed with my fork and knife. I was under ten when that happened. The carrs invited me and poppy to lunch one time. Poppy had to leave, they mentioned the peodophile around the corner and laughed. Some wife of one of them thought I should paint horses. They took me on a boat ride. I was sitting up really straight, I knew it, I didn’t flinch. I did not know what it was. Joseph picked me up and we drove home. He cheered me up.
Betty was a great friend of poppy too, i dolphin swam infront of her house the last time I was there, I noticed it was weird. So was Chile. So were Dwight and Michelle, Michelle was a model in Europe but had come home, Dwight died, drugs? he had no other way to make money, their kids are maybe alive, maybe not. I had dinner with their family, it was one of the little ones birthday, we had conch fritters, Brenda was there too. I was on Dwight’s right.
When my granny died, I was heartbroken. She left me her China from Vancouver, it went with her to Montreal, when she married Rabbit. She was 19 and happy, but a little scared to leave everything she had known. There’s a set of 8 plates in my apartment, a rent control one bedroom that my dad pays for, and the rest are in the boxes in my studio in my parents house in St. Agathes Des Monts, don’t let them pull the wool over your eyes. I checked, they weren’t there. My mom brought the plates to Toronto. They travelled across the country through northern Alberta, poppy said her family took horses, to get there, when they were immigrating, she was born in Edmonton. I thought she was a gypsy. Lolly and Pop i think did wood or logging or something. She said Pop was very racist, or maybe people said that. Maybe her family did the horse trip, and got the China some other time. It is blue and white and gold plated. It will probably just disappear from toronto now. I never use it. She also left me her Blue Subaru, I had a little Honda fit “mushi” and it was in Quebec, so Uncle Pete got it. Everyone always asks me the name of my Honda fit, how weird.
My granny Poppy, had a job in the depression/war, at the bank, she was really smart. She had a lot of responsibility, there where no guys. Rabbit married her. She said they’d never take my memory.
I was working for Dr. Brown then, he’s a great dentist he doesn’t rip people off. My parents took me to Mexico to cheer me up. We had fun! I was heart broken. I ended up quiting my job and going to yoga school, in Costa Rica. I paid for it, I should have bought a place to live. I didn’t have enough to buy a spot, so I blew it on expensive yoga school. Finding a job you like is hard. Like brutal. Yoga teacher seemed like a good option, I’m not realistic. I hated standing in front of people. Nadia Murdoch went there. Her husband Bob influences the government, told my mum about the school, and even met with me to tell me about it. My mum also really encouraged me to spend my fifty thousand on yoga teaching, stupid or manipulated? I should have been smarter. In the end yoga helped me figure out I was a puppet, and the vagus nerve, Nadi of sound, and marma used for murder, so not marma, because marma is a healing art. Bob Murdoch thinks I should be a politician, fuck off.
When I figured out that yoga teacher was a bad career option. I went to Ryerson and took financial accounting. I liked it. There are no answers in life, who do you trust, who do you love. There are answers in accounting, its right or wrong, it’s easy. I got a job about a year after I graduated at Art Books, it was in tax, my first season was Covid, it was hard, but I did it. The next December I got murder so had to quit. I quit in December, if I quit in March they would have been really fucked.
The tin doors came from my cousins Alex and Marnie, no one believes me about those, that they would affect my health. Can I work yes. Is someone trying to kill me, yes, is it hard yes.
I wasn’t even allowed to go to Mugshot Tavern, the last four years in Toronto with the alarms on my teeth. I saw Gord Downie there once. I really adored Scott and was puppet to like Jeff, but their both dear friends. I worked at YYZ Artists Outlet, they didn’t pay me much, and took advantage of me. I worked at the Imperial for awhile, it was my old job back in 2001 for a few years. I had the alarms on my teeth, so the city made me quit, it was costing the police too much, to answer the calls.
The imperial used to have a tin ceiling, they changed it to plastic, I was struggling in there all day anyways, under the plastic ceiling. The customers where drunk, one guy snapped, my head went back and he pulled my tongue out of my mouth. They have a brass rail, my granny told me a lady never sits at the bar. I’ve learnt its because I’m white skinned, but black/absorb, if I touch brass I stink.
Who do you trust, who do you love? They tell me not to worry, but I know also I have no money, I’m barely alive and struggling. Don’t worry Kate, your alright? I’m not. They are killing me, they will kill my family, all of us. What do I do? Sell my stuff? My mum just gave me Poppy’s diamond watch in Calgary, sometimes it has diamonds, sometimes it doesn’t. She also gave me granny Russel’s gold watch. She’s had cancer, I think she thought she was going to die. She’s had her kidney out, and dr. Eddy(ie sp?) told her to take five thyroid pills pinkish orange, and a shit load of other big white ones. If mum and dad go the mental institution will get me, or the state. I have no money. I spent it all on yoga. I don’t want mum and dad to go.
This one is for Gord Downie…. Alec (doc) and Shirley Miller (he was chief of the Montreal general) got sent to Bobcagen, that’s what Poppy said. I was always worried about that one. His son Bruce was an undercover cop. I'm moving to Elon Browns place, on November first, I went there once when I was a kid, I remember it, a long low bungallow, stained dark brown. Me and Lauren/Kara played cards, Jamie Miller was hanging out with Elon. Their cousin is Melissa Carlyle, they live in another house I think, I’ve never been there. Elon said they didn’t live there, I don’t know I’m not sure, I was like 14, I’m 43 now. My mom drove me, she didn’t know if she knew the way. Philip was a great granddad, and chased his grandkids around the club every summer (Elon, and Lauren/Kara). Jen, Bruce Millers daughter stays there sometimes, apparently she is a teacher at Shawnigan Lake School? So did Trudeau, I hate him, but Shawnigan is really nice? Its on Salt Spring, Murdochs go there. Myung-Sun/ Nicole my friend from ocad used to go there too, she is nice? but is really mean to me sometimes. She hasn’t messaged me back in years. Shawnigan is not nice, at all it is a Nazi breeding ground, some good get sent, most are evil. I stopped trying to find a friend.
I’m staying right now at Tony Laytons property, in the old garage, he used to be my dads finance guy, he got the dreaded mental illness and took the electrocution, he’s a little shakey but alright, friend for life, through all the hell. Peter Guay, is the head of the team he goes to now, his wife showed up to the one of two weddings I’ve been invited to in the last twenty years with his wife who had a black eye smirking. My dad is “abuser”, everyone knows. Or at least Peter Guay ensures everyone thinks that. Judge your own fucking family bitch. Sonal got married this fall, I was too lonely to go by myself. We don’t talk much anymore anyways.i went to three Jenkins weddings too, Colin, number 1 and Alex and Marnie. People say they go to weddings all the time, I am not invited.
My friend Aly Moore came over for muffins the other day, she’s a neurologist, but she lost her liscence? Everyone is telling me her brother says hi? No one is going near my parents they’re great.
Now Kat and Aly want to see me after November 4th, but Kat says Aly’s brother says hi? fuck off. Sue and Johnny Jenkins, are nice, she was a receptionist at UHN? No peggy and Russ Payson are, she’s loosing her hair? It’s her evidence. They are attacking the entire power line. Taylor Swift thinks I’m Cassandra, but that **** didn’t say a word, but knew about plastic. Destined to know the truth, but no one believes you? Kim, has known people are pull to be criminal since OJ, her dads not dead, he ran away, save yourself.
Poppy gave me a set of mini screwdrivers one year for Christmas, it was the Christmas before she died, and a plastic clock. White and Gold from Giant Tiger/ Tigre Giant. The screw drivers where to protect myself from the controllers, I’m the stupid fucking idiot that’s last to know. My mom gave everyone else the screwdrivers, they were on sale. Poppy gave me mine. My mom told me she cried my name when she died, I wasn’t allowed to visit her in her last week. Mary the minister gave her the last rights, against her wishes. Mum said the lights flickered. I don’t know if Dr. Thompson was there. Another doctor on the lake gave Poppy the shot, but she made my mum do it. He filled the script and knew she was suffering. Mary the minister was definitely there, she’s a Bishop now. Poppy was talking to her a lot before she died. It was weird. Can you finger nail point someone’s last words? I’m not confirmed either. MURDER. I am officially in writing accusing Mary the Bishop for the Anglican Church of Montreal of murdering my grandmother, manipulating my mother and me. Mary the Bishop fingernail pointed Poppy’s last words to torture my mother, and me.
My brule book is a lie, or I was lied to my whole life. Everyone’s name is wrong, the houses are wrong, that house across the lake built on stones is not there, me and mum hiked there once, who lives there? My book had two leaves, the red Canadian one was broken, the pale one is fine, we’re all Nazis now. It’s creepy (I’m paranoid). My dad got the clock. He winds it. Ding. Tara wanted it. She’s a bitch too, but then what do I have to say, I’m racist peodophile abuser whore. I don’t know what the clock fucking means. Uncle Pete is Pop, but dad is Pop Pop.
Trust no one, everyone? What the fuck is going on? Fuck this shit. I trust the ones that speak. That have spoken. That try. Gord Downie did, he’s dead. So did my granny, Poppy. Laura Pauline Russel, nee Bossy. My mum Gail Louise Gorman (nee Russel) didn’t know. My other granny Hilda Gorman (nee Finley) died when my dad was three on a plastic mattress, she would have too. Suzy Johnston (Poppy would always double check that one, Johnston or Johnson, I don’t know why) set my parents up, was it a joke? Her kids are bitches and never call, she sometimes writes my mom back, but most times not. I went to their house on l’isle d’orleans once in Quebec City, they had statues of black/rhythm people holding the door. Her dad loved my dad, was a vet, and never spoke to Suzie. Suzies daughter called her dad Papa, in front of me the only time I ever met her, in the UK, wasn’t very nice, and yes, smirked. If you don’t want to erase history, and leave the statues holding the door, put a sign and say this is wrong. I subsequently called my dad Pa, for years, do I have bad controllers?
Mum went to Concordia, she is smart and cool, and has a degree in sociology.
The guidance councillor at OCADU told me to take sculpture installation, he said Ian Carr-Harris taught it and it was better than painting, to take installation. I had never heard of him (Ian). I never put two and two together. The councillor said he was a really good artist. Carr, do you laugh about peodophiles? Or do you pretend to because the walls have ears on Windermere island? Carr-Harris? Did you steal my work, and then meet me for coffee, and say you would help me with my career but never help? Yvonne knows how to point to make me talk, and Ian couldn’t say a word, when they came into the gallery this spring. I never fucked any of them. Friend or Foe? I also took metal, wood was all full, Rachel told me it was really hard to get into wood, did they want Russel metals too?
Carr gave my granny a scarf, I don’t know what the pattern means,,, She thought he did a lot of really good work in Africa, that’s what he said. Elizabeth was her friend, she visited once to Quebec, 2005, the summer I got caught, she loved yoga too. Elizabeth died.
I’m going to Philip Browns house, it’s a long low bungalow, with a screen porch, stained, and a landscaped wall to walk up to the front of the house with wood on top, about three feet high, on the right. It would be a little worn now. There is no upstairs. It costs $2000cad. a month, my dad said he’d pay. It belongs to Elon (Audrey), and Kara now, I met their granny that day too. She had a beautiful bright patterned dress on. She was an oriental rhythm lady. I made her jump, but I think it was because she was older. Philip used to call Kara Lauren. Leah. There is not a piece of plastic in that house. Their granny was a rythym lady, we can feel that shit, she didn’t know either. Meg Doyle gave me his email. I always called her Meg, she never corrected me. Kara has a dog with social issues, Leroy (brown). She works at Exeter hospital in New Hampshire, as a psych. RN, but Elon does some kind of business for mechanical Eng. for Eaton. I’m going to ask for them to email the key. One of the guys from Elon and Kara’s age group died by suicide, it was his dreaded fucking “mental health”. Changing the world to a better place is on Elon and Kara’s soul too. His parents were on the board for camh for awhile but got pushed off.
I dressed up as princess Leah for Halloween once, I wore my mums wedding dress, Alice suggested it, she was one of my best “friends”. She is puppet too? Or knew it? O’flarety. She hung out with Ruts and Kait Jules and Twitchy and Roddy, at OCADU, and introduced me. They where street punks came to my opening, Ruta made sure, I was evil racist after that everyone knew it. I got my twitchy sweat shirt as a present at uwo, I had no idea what that shit meant.
My Apple iPad call number is GG7 — what the fuck. My moms grandma name is GG, I don’t know what it means, it’s her initials. Someone probably suggested it. My brother and sister in law Cynthia Gorman, nee Lalumiere - Conway, changed my nephews name from James to Jaime. He’s still little, that kid is going to be alright, and not take twenty years in the mental institution and then dead, for money, plates, pearls and diamonds.
Love the birds.
I have my passport and citizenship card, my birth certificate, and baptism.
Ian once asked me how I thought, like my wash when I look back in retrospect. I have a constant why? In my brain. I do not have the narrative. I did not figure that out until I was forty. Am I brilliant? Do they feed it? Do I have to die now, and do they lie about me? What the fuck is this? Red shoes are always on sale for me. Screwdrivers are on sale for my mom.
I wrote it down, I own it, everything I write down. Which means a lot of people get to decide together and have to think it through together.
“Like a worm on a hook, I have tried in my way to be free” - Leonard Cohen
Colin got his spine cut, Alex went insane, Pat got the betes. I went insane for twenty years, but decided it’s a load of shit, Ye helped me with that, I used to be a fan. “Bully” has my tooth on his album cover with the alarms, is it my tooth? the real one? With the alarms? He did not ask, they should have. It’s bottom right when your looking at it. Alive. Now they say he’s a disgusting pig racist evil womanizer who ditched his kids? He acts like it, ditched them, or uses them, for money. He’s married to money$, his wife’s father is one of the biggest hedge fund investors in the US. Do you want hedge fund investor guy whispering in the ear, and going up the ass, with his daughters tongue and nails, of Kanye? Kanye is is considered a “taste maker”. Do you want a hedge fund owner to dictate what you think is “cool”. Kanye has known this for twenty years too. She appropriated things
I emailed Ye, Kanye, Yeezy, whatever his name is, a number of times, screaming at him to speak. He did not. However both his wives used that platform to remain silent, speak in illusions, and keep quiet. Billionaires club. Don’t trust them, they’ll turn around and lie. Not cool.
Mom, told me to never give up, and has been with me every step of the way, Poppy taught her that, and be more of a hippy, Dorothy taught her that.
The ideology of this writing in this website is what they left me in their stories, my mom told them to me. My mum taught me to always wear someone else’s shoes, see where they’re coming from, be kind. Mum, Gail Louise Gorman nee Russel (GG), I love you, we’re all going to be okay.
Artist Blood Job. Love Kate
I framed it and put it on my wall, I’m not trying to put it on my wall like a trophy hunter, I can’t wear it, but the fabric is beautiful and special, I didn’t want it to just sit in the cupboard and get moths. Carr gave it to my Poppy, Poppy gave it to me.
Two berries and some twigs. Are we Catholic Julia and Roseanne (Gersovitz and Moss)? You knew that shit too, a lot of people did. Plastic affects your health. I think it’s a torture chamber, intentionally designed, to kill us. Oh? You became so fucking annoying half way through the build mom and dad fired you, it’s not yours? Your not responsible? Fuck you. There’s one Catholic three twig and berry in the living room? What does that mean? 20 years GG and Pop Pop have been murdered because people don’t speak, don’t change law, don’t protect each other just do what the fuck their told. Republican and Dem got fifty million, too little too late, .02% of the democratic campaign budget. The government is a load of shit. Canada doesn’t do that, but our government is likely the most Nazi in the world. I still wouldn’t trust Gates and Mellon. Trust no one but your blood. What is two degrees?
GG🌞 she’s taking too much thyroid, her pupils are tight.
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